By Lacy Thundercake
Wolfman, winner of the Best Make-up Oscar
LOS ANGELES – ABC producers have to be lamenting their decision to hire Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan as co-hosts of the 83rd Annual Academy Awards, which aired Sunday night. What started as a promising idea ended in disaster when the erratic stars stayed true to recent form and nearly sank the broadcast with their bizarre behavior.
Sheen, whose sitcom, What Happened to Emilio?, has been put on hiatus for the remainder of the television season, showed up 20 minutes late, forcing producers to fill the gap with old Popeye cartoons. The troubled actor walked on stage fully nude and, instead of delivering a monologue, beat up a prostitute and shouted profanities for 5 minutes. He was arrested and taken into custody by police just before the Best Animated Short film award was announced, prompting presenter Tom Hanks to quip, “What the f**k?”
Audiences were shocked when many of the favorites in the major award categories, including Natalie Portman for Best Actress and The King’s Speech for Best Picture, failed to capture statuettes. It was later alleged that Sheen’s co-host, Lohan, had stolen the sealed envelopes announcing the winners and replaced them with her own. The originals were found in the trunk of Lohan’s car, which she initially claimed was not hers, despite the registration card in the glove compartment with her name on it.
She later said, ‘Me and Price Waterhouse Cooper are, like, really good friends, so I was just borrowing the envelopes from him.”
To her credit, the plucky star finished her hosting duties without the help of Sheen.
Despite the grumbling of some nominees who walked away from the awards ceremony empty handed, ABC producers said that, once a winner’s name is read on the air, the victory is official. With that in mind, here are yesterday’s winners in the major categories:
Best Supporting Actress – Lindsay Lohan, Machete
Best Supporting Actor Actress Part II – Lindsay Lohan, Freaky Friday
Best Actress – Lindsay Lohan, I Know Who Killed Me
Best Actor Actress Part II – Lindsay Lohan, Herbie Fully Loaded
Best Director – Lindsay Lohan
Best Film – Lindsay Lohan
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THE ANVIL 