About
Do not attempt to adjust your Internet. We are controlling the transmission.
Disclaimer for the sensitive or litigious… this site is satirical. None of these things happened, and the quotes are fabricated.
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Comments are encouraged, welcome, and the fuel that drives us to continue posting. You don’t have to be funny to be appreciated. Feel free to point out typos, tell us we’re lame, or admire our bizarre pop-culture references.
All stories are written by Eric J Baker (don’t tell the others they aren’t real… we don’t need another existentialist crisis on our hands), copyright 2011 or whatever date appears on it. Unless, when I clicked on that “terms of service” thing with the blog host, it said they own it. Damn them all to hell if that’s the case.
Photos on my Staff page taken by Ethan B Weinrib, a real person using a fake name.
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THE ANVIL 
jeanie said
sh1t, this is a great fvcking blog.
-sister mary grace
Moosey D said
Dear ‘The Onion’,
Please cancel my subscription.
oldancestor said
Hey, Dave. Thanks for stopping by!
Rob said
Perhaps we can find some water.
oldancestor said
It will go well with a bit of spaghetti. On your plate.
Tomcat in the red room. said
Awesome blog.
oldancestor said
Thanks, and thanks for swinging around these parts to say hello.
I don’t suppose you find my blog compelling by any chance?
josh1340 said
Great blog. Your posts had me rolling. The snuggling dinosaurs sent me into a laughing fit before even reading the article. Keep it up!
-Josh
The Good Twin
http://thegoodtwin.net
oldancestor said
I wonder how the bad twin would react. Hmmmm…
Will said
Great blog. Thanks for your comment on mine and all the lulz to be found here.
oldancestor said
Thanks for visiting and keep up the intelligent posting.
postadaychallenge2011 said
Today is day one of following you as you made a comment on my blog. Every one needs humor in their day. I am “like minded” as you. I am so excited to find you, thanks.
oldancestor said
Thanks for stopping by, and here’s to future exchanges of comments and reads.
**Raises glass of water w/a teaspoon of organic apple cider vinegar**
(Seriously, I’m drinking vinegar. I get my blog ideas from the ensuing hallucinations)
postadaychallenge2011 said
I love apple cider vinegar! Many cures for that remedy. Here’s to you and here’s to me, here’s to psycho battle, I will blog it as long as you and not a moment after.
oldancestor said
Truth be told, with apple cider vinegar, you don’t get to enjoy the loss of bone density and the digestive problems you get from prescription meds. Oh well. Not everything can have horrible side effects.
random ntrygg said
The Anvil is more real news than the real news.
oldancestor said
At least I tell people up front that it’s fictional, unlike the folks on TV.
Keep your grubby mits off my fake news blog, Rupert Murdoch!
Paula Tohline Calhoun said
Dunno why I’m perusing your pages today. . .it must mean that hell has frozen over or something else akin to the fact that there is nothing better to do. Anyway, “About” reminds me of what one of my sons said to me one day (when he was in high school). I had just purchased and was wearing a tee shirt made by “Guess?” that had emblazoned across the front of it, “GUESS?” My son looked at me thoughtfully and then said, “Oh, about 300 pounds?”
And some people wonder why mothers eat their own young. (How do they think we get to weigh 300 bs.?)
oldancestor said
Ahahaha! Your son and I are kindred spirits, apparently.
I’m sorry that you have been reduced to reading The Anvil. Which leads me to say, “What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?”
Hanson Anderson said
BURN IN HELL BAKER, WITH YOUR PRECIOUS 300,000,000 VIEWERS. WHICH YOU STOLE FROM WEIRD DUDE FAKE NEWS.
Hanson Anderson said
p.s. Thanks for donating your kidney to my Dad.
Hanson Anderson said
p.s. DAD said “BURN IN HELL KIDNEY BOY”
oldancestor said
You know how hard it is to pick up these guys at bars, drug them, and steal their kidneys all the time? I’m not even all that gay. Ingrates!
How’s Dad doing anyway? Tell him the candlelight vigil was a smashing success.