THE ANVIL

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Posts Tagged ‘Lost’

Lost’s truth revealed: Island was Gamera the Flying Turtle

Posted by oldancestor on May 24, 2010

By Lacy Thundercake

 

The Big Payoff: The climax of Lost's series finale.

It seems most Lost viewers were right.

Despite the best efforts of producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse to guard the secret beforehand, we learned in the series finale last night the Island was indeed Gamera the Flying Turtle, as many had suspected.

The truth was revealed in the climactic scene when the Man in Black AKA the Smoke Monster joined forces with Decepticon Ben and morphed into Super Space Giant Robot X14. As SSGRX14 was about to blast Jack Shephard and gang with its rainbow death ray, the Island rose up, shedding its rocks and trees and issuing the familiar elephantine roar of the heroic monster Gamera.

The giant flying turtle carefully placed the losties on its scaly back and engaged in an epic showdown that ended when SSGRX14 was heaved into space. Gamera then lifted off and rocketed our heroes to safety in Tokyo. The last shot faded with MiB/Space Robot on the moon, shaking its fist toward earth and vowing revenge.

It was an emotionally satisfying conclusion to a unique show that has held millions captivated since it debuted six years ago.     

“I knew they had a plan all along,” said Lost’s fan club president Pinky Middleton. “This explains all the mysteries going back to the very first episode.”

“Gamera loves children!” added an enthusiastic Kenji Takarada, 6, of Okinawa, Japan.

When people look back on Lost in the years to come, many will no doubt rank this final episode amongst the best series conclusions of all time.

Who can forget the gripping end of The Love Boat, when the Pacific Princess struck an iceberg, broke in half, and sank, taking Captain Stubing, Gopher, Isaac, Doc, Julie, and Jack Dawson down with it? Or the finale of M*A*S*H, which ended with Hawkeye, BJ, Hot Lips, and Klinger sentenced to a year in prison for failing to come to the aid of a crime victim, a scenario which gave producers an opportunity to trot out viewers’ favorite characters from throughout the series for the courtroom sequences.

Other popular shows have closed with confusing or poorly written episodes that left fans bitter.

Perhaps most notable was the resolution of the mega-hit Friends, which saw the character Ross contracting rabies then murdering Rachel, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey. The bulk of the hour-long episode consisted of gruesome torture scenes and frequent close-ups of an increasingly unhinged David Schwimmer tormenting his frightened captives, replete with foaming mouth and cloudy, white eyeballs. Despite almost universal hatred for the broadcast, Schwimmer won an Emmy for his performance as well as an MTV award for “Best TV Psycho.” The accolades helped him land the part of “Jigsaw” in the Saw horror franchise.

Rumors are swirling about the upcoming final episode of Law and Order, which was recently cancelled by NBC after a 20-year run. A leaked copy of the script posted online ends with an unnamed character waking up, realizing the whole series was a dream, then finding out he’s dead, then finding out it wasn’t a dream, he’s not dead, but he is in hell. Only time will tell if fans think the resolution is an artistic wonder or a craptastic blunder.

So what’s next for Lost producers Cuse and Lindelof? TV insiders say they plan to create a sequel of sorts, featuring a group of space travelers on a trip to Jupiter who inexplicably find themselves lights years away amidst a wilderness of uncharted planets. The show is tentatively titled Lost, in Space.

Posted in Entertainment News | Tagged: , , , | 8 Comments »

Scientists SLAM Gilligan’s Island

Posted by oldancestor on May 14, 2010

SAYS ONE EXPERT: IT’S SO FAKE!

 

By Eric J Baker

This is all that remains of Gilligan's Island today, thanks to rising ocean levels.

NEW YORK – A team of concerned scientists from North America and Europe are at the United Nations this week, hoping to draw the world’s attention to critical scientific inaccuracies depicted in the television show Gilligan’s Island, which aired from 1964-67. An article detailing their 35-year-long study is to be published simultaneously in several academic science journals next month.
“We first became suspicious in 1975, watching reruns, when we noticed some elements of the show just didn’t ring true,” said researcher Brian Oblivion of Cambridge University in England. “Particularly the sequence where Gilligan floats after entering a helium-filled cave. It’s important to understand the distinction between the effects of helium and anti gravity on the human body.”

Oblivion fears for the safety of future astronauts, should NASA or some other space agency rely on the program’s faulty science when sending people to the moon or beyond.

“That show is whack,” he said.

Professor Emmett Brown of Hill Valley University, who led the research project until his shooting death in 1985, once famously quipped, “Stupid is as Gilligan’s Island does.”

Though most people involved in the production of Gilligan’s Island are deceased or in prison, lead technical consultant Buddy Little, 77, said all the criticism has stung him emotionally.

“Not only that,” he adds, “it hurts my feelings.”

Little showed reporters a coconut lie detector, one of many props from the show he keeps in his house.

“Most people don’t know this is a working lie detector,” he explains, putting it on his head. “Go ahead; ask me if it’s a working lie detector.”

Flashing green light or no, Dr. Oblivion from Cambridge is not convinced.

“Now, take a show like Lost,” he says, “There’s a reason that show is critically acclaimed and Gilligan’s Island is derided. Lost is painstaking in its scientific accuracy.”

For readers who are unfamiliar, Lost takes place on an unnamed island that is able to travel through time and space at the turn of a horizontally deposed wheel. The island also cures paralysis and cancer and is inhabited by supernatural beings, people who never age, and a malevolent smoke demon that can shape-shift into human form. Characters deploy hydrogen bombs without injury and, in the process, create alternate universes.

The show was originally called Jacob’s Island, but producers changed it to Lost in an effort to distance the production from its gilliganous predecessor.

To date, few people have been willing to speak out about TV’s other popular island-themed program, Survivor, though former vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin has been quoted as saying the producers rely on “junk science” to tell the Lord-of-the-Flies inspired tale. 

Viewers may need to prepare themselves for yet another show featuring people on an island. An unnamed reporter is said to be pitching a one-off reality special to several networks in which Palin, Jon and Kate Gosselin, the cast of Jersey Shore, and Heidi Montag are killed and eaten by crocodiles in the first five minutes.

Posted in Science | Tagged: , , , , | 6 Comments »