THE ANVIL

Transmissions from the alternate universe

ROMNEY DEFEATS OBAMA!

Posted by ericjbaker on November 7, 2012

by Lennie

This building in Washington DC is close to the Verizon Center, site of last night’s boxing match.

WASHINGTON DC – In a high-profile dust-up at the Verizon Center last night, light-heavyweight boxer Hank “Bone Crusher” Romney beat the formerly undefeated Shamus “The Irish Hammer” Obama, scoring a TKO in the sixth round of a scheduled ten-round fight. Referee Jimmy Lehrer stopped the fight after Obama was knocked down twice within the first 30 seconds of the round.

Despite protestations from Obama’s trainer, Billy “Elvis” Clinton, Lehrer waved his arms to signal the end of the bout when Obama seemed too dazed to continue. The loss drops Obama’s record to 14-1, while Romney improved to 16-3. There is no word on who Romney plans to fight next.

Of his victory, the exuberant boxer said, “It’s ludicrous!”

In unrelated political news, Democrat Barack Obama was re-elected President of the United States, defeating his Republican rival Mitt Romney after a tight race.

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6 Responses to “ROMNEY DEFEATS OBAMA!”

  1. nrhatch said

    They might as well put on boxing gloves . . . it would make for a cleaner fight. 😉

  2. Sugar McMuffyn said

    Come on. Let’s face it. My money would have been on Obama for the fight. How many black, Irish men do you know? They were born to fight. And he was up against a light-heavyweight Mormon? That’s a lot of bollocks right there! I think it was fixed!

  3. Nov, 2012? Pls don’t tell me you hit a snag in the fabric of your humorous writing.

    • ericjbaker said

      Hello there, Charlywalker! I hope all is well.

      I fear that The Anvil has unplugged the presses for the foreseeable future. I loved and valued my 5 or 6 loyal readers, but the lack of readership growth, coupled with more pressing projects elsewhere, made it hard to stay inspired. I invite you to take a peek at my newer blog at http://ericjohnbaker.wordpress.com/

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