THE ANVIL

Transmissions from the alternate universe

Hillary Clinton e-mails picture of her clint

Posted by oldancestor on June 6, 2011

By Lacy Thundercake

 

Exclusive: Hillary's shocking Twitter pic

WASHINGTON DC – Secretary of State Hillary Clinton admitted today to e-mailing a picture of her pet turtle, Clint, to at least six of her Twitter followers recently.

“My Clint is cute as a button,” Clinton told reporters today. “I wanted people to see it.”

The turtle is so named, says the doting pet owner, for its alleged resemblance to Academy Award ™ winning actor and director Clint Eastwood, and not because of her last name. The likeness between the star and Clinton’s reptile could not be independently confirmed at press time.

Among Clinton’s Twitter followers is New York Democratic Congressman and popular underwear model Anthony Weiner, who made headlines himself recently for his own controversial e-mails. He says he understands what Clinton is going through.

“I sent pictures of my Weiner to people,” the congressman told The Anvil via telephone today. “And some folks were a little upset. But I thought it was adorable and the chicks dig it.”

Weiner is Weiner’s pet snake.

Oxford University professor and expert on reptile photographs Sir Edmund Bollocks said people are uncomfortable with turtle pictures because the animals live so long.

“Turtles are like little, shelled, soul-stealing monsters,” says Bollocks. “We mammals wither and age and lose control of our bowels, yet turtles just live and live and live like they own the place. If they ever learn to talk, they’ll be quite in demand. ‘Of course I knew Churchill,’ and so forth.”

Clinton said she’s not sorry about sending the picture.

“People are always shouting, ‘show us your… cat,’” she explains. “Cats are fine, but turtles need attention too.”

No word on whether Newt Gingrich plans to email photos of his pet amphibian or Dick Durbin intends to distribute pictures of his next campaign poster.

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28 Responses to “Hillary Clinton e-mails picture of her clint”

  1. nrhatch said

    You. Are. So. Bad. 😀

    Has Weiner’s Weiner been revealed on PFC?

  2. Woman said

    ” “Turtles are like little, shelled, soul-stealing monsters,” says Bollocks.” ”

    Hummm…. so what about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles??? They might have something to say about it!!!! LOL!!!

  3. I don’t know about the resemblance thing. He looks sort of like he’s saying, “Go ahead, make my day!”

    • I wanted to get a picture of a real turtle, but my computer has a virus caused from downloading a picture. So I’m only taking my own. That’s OK, I get daily searches for Gamera, so I may as well please that one person who keeps looking.

      • You mean that’s not a real picture of a turtle? I mean, Gamera is a turtle, so since you got a photo of him, you got a real picture of a turtle. Besides, the more I look at him, the more he looks like Clint Eastwood – which means that Hollywood won’t be far behind. They’ll get him (or he’ll direct himself) in the new movie: “Dirty Gamera: Magnum Turtle.” The tag line will be “hbad guys don’t stand a chance against Dirty Gamera’s .357 Magnum ‘shell.'”

  4. Alexandria Beaverhousin said

    When I heard that Gene Simmons tweeted a picture of his cockatiel, I logged right onto my account to see it! Can I say it was glorious? The colors and all the tricks Gene could make it do…very entertaining.

  5. Gosh this article made me blush.

  6. ROFLMAO……..punk, you just made my day!

  7. The Hook said

    Hilarious!

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