Two black men spotted at White House in possible break-in
Posted by oldancestor on May 12, 2011
By Eric J Baker
WASHINGTON DC – Two unidentified African-American men were spotted on White House grounds yesterday during a poetry and spoken-word event hosted by first lady Michelle Obama. One of the intruders was described as tall and thin, with short hair and good posture, and wearing an expensive suit. The other was said to be handsome, in a bohemian rapper/poet sort of way, and both appeared to be between 40 and 50 years old.
DC law enforcement officials are treating the incident as an attempted burglary.
The presence of the men seemed to go unnoticed until a tipster phoned local police. Authorities have not released the name of the good samaritan, but insiders speaking on condition of anonymity identify him as S. Hannity of F. News. A review of local phone directories did not turn up additional information about the caller.
White House officials would not confirm the break-in attempt and say that nothing appears to have been stolen. Video footage of the poetry event shows the suit-wearing burglar being trailed by secret service agents, who likely prevented the theft of government property.
Former Alaska governor and vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin, speaking at a nearby conference for women married to former secessionists, praised the actions of police and White House security.
“Thanks to the swift actions of law enforcement officers,” said Palin, “the icky people were chased away.”
Anyone with tips on the whereabouts of the alleged criminals should call 1-800-Welcome to the 21st Century.
The Anvil wishes to apologize for today’s clear left-wing media bias disguised as satire. It will probably happen again.