Sarah Palin lookalike… after man has 233 plastic surgeries!
Posted by oldancestor on April 10, 2011
By Lacy Thundercake

Norman Ubsy talks Tucker Carlson on Fox News' edgy spinoff, Foxy News
LOS ANGELES – A U.S. Postal Service employee in California recently underwent a record 233rd cosmetic surgery in his quest to become an exact replica of former Alaska governor and vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin. Last night, he made his first guest-hosting appearance on Foxy News Channel, a spin-off of Fox News, and is said to be in negotiations for a regular spot.
When asked why he wanted to look like Palin, Norman “Chubsy” Ubsy said, “At first it was because I wanted to see her naked. Since there don’t seem to be any nudes pics floating around out there, I thought, ‘Hey, I know another way.’”
Ubsy, who is genetically an African American man, says the more he learned about Palin, the more he liked her.
“I’m a gun owner and support the second amendment. I also believe in smaller government,” he explains. “These are things I thought about when they put in the breast implants and removed my privates, and these are the things I think about when I look at myself naked in a full-length mirror.”
Ubsy’s surgeon, Dr. Herbert West of Unethical Plastics, a Southern California fast-surgery center, said changing Ubsy into Palin was gratifying.
“I was particularly disappointed that Michael Jackson died before I was able to finish turning him into the alien that crawls out of the mother ship at the end of Close Encounters,” he told The Anvil. “When I have a patient who has money yet is clearly mentally disturbed, I want to turn that patient into the freakazoid he dreams of becoming.”
West is also known for using radical surgery to turn eccentric billionaire Roopvani Patel into a Rubik’s Cube and for turning Jesse Eisenberg from the Guy Who Reminds People of Michael Cera into Jesse Eisenberg.
Not everyone is so pleased with West’s handiwork.
Tina T. Tyler, an expert from the Alliteration Institute in Denver, Colorado says, “Pistol-packing pretend-Palin postal persons piss me off. Silly surgeons slicing and sculpting Sarah simulations steam me as well.”
Ubsy says he is not fazed by all the criticism. “I’ve got other things to worry about. Now that I look like Palin, I’m trying real hard to unlearn everything I know about civics and geopolitics and replace it with winks and snark.”
The surgeries cost Ubsy a combined 1.9 million dollars, a lot of money for a postal worker. If his huge ratings from last night’s Foxy News appearance are any indication, though, he’ll be making it back in no time.
“People wanted Sarah in a bra and panties, and I gave it to them,” he says. “I’m every bit the businessman she is.”
The real Palin was unable to be reached for comment, but Hollywood insiders are already buzzing that she and her counterpart are in talks with 20th Century Fox executives to star in a film entitled, Palin Vs. Mecha-Palin as well as two sequels, Palin vs. Mecha-Palin vs. Godzilla and Palin, Godzilla, Mecha-Palin, and MechaGodzilla: Monsters’, Palins’, and Mecha-Monster Palins’ All Out Mecha-Monster War.
Michael Bay is expected to direct.
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Greetings, Anvil readers. I’ve done another guest post for filmmaker James Killough’s Pure Film Creative, which you can read here. Check it out and tell me what you think, but please note the content there is a bit edgier.
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Today’s image is another great contribution by Sandra Tarsitano
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charlywalker said
That was the best kept Victoria Secret…
Loved it OA.
oldancestor said
Thanks. The idea was inspired by the image my friend Sandi created for me.
justintellsjokes said
nice…lol
http://www.funnyordie.com/justintellsjokes
http://justintellsjokes.wordpress.com/
oldancestor said
Is one word and an acronym justification to link not one but two blogs?
Eh, I’m feeling generous today.
Paula Tohline Calhoun said
I am initiaing an on-line praotest: Make Direct TV air Foxy News. Anything Rupert Murdoch would put his money behind is bound to be all right by me!
Or should that be “Anywhere Rupert Murdoch puts his behind is all money for me?” Perhaps it should be, “Rupert Murdoch’s behind is where all the money is?” Maybe, “Any money that comes out of Rupert Murdoch’s behind is. . .tainted?”
Whatever. . .how come I can’t get Foxy News on my TV?
BTW, I visited PFC – it’s a nice place to visit. Think I’ll pitch a tent over there too. . .
oldancestor said
Eventually, Comcast will own the entire TV industry, so we’ll get Foxy TV whether we want it or not.
Thanks for visiting PFC. I’ve learned so much about LA fashion and gay culture since I started posting there. I’m the token straight guy, I guess.
nrhatch said
As I read, I kept thinking about Michael Jackson . . . and then he made an appearance. Thank you for that! 🙂
You might also want to comment on some of the lips floating around Hollywood ~ Meg Ryan’s are way too big for her face. She looks like the Joker.
oldancestor said
Yeah, once your face becomes frozen in place, it’s time to scale back on the botox injections. Nicole Kidman is another one.
Ladies: Natural is beautiful. We liked you the way you were before, microscopic wrinkles and less-than-puffy lips included.
Alexandria Beaverhousin said
You would think with that 1.9 million he would have someone make him an exact life-size, replica doll of Palin. That way, he can see how she looks naked and he can do her. I’m tellin’ ya. Some people just don’t see the bigger picture!
oldancestor said
The Japanese could whip up such a thing in 5 minutes, and it would be fully robotic.
Get me Frank Hitachi on the phone, pronto!
charlywalker said
Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto….
oldancestor said
Wow, you speak Styx?
jeanie said
teehee
oldancestor said
you speak chipmunk?
charlywalker said
Too much time on my hands…
oldancestor said
Can I have some of it? My friend lent me a movie about 2 months ago and I haven’t watched it yet.
charlywalker said
stop it…you’re killing me.
oldancestor said
Just trying to make you laugh
charlywalker said
You are..and it’s time you went on the road with this…
acleansurface said
Glad someone mentioned Nicole Kidman’s lips. I saw a recent photo of her and felt very confused.
oldancestor said
She looked fine before! I can understand actresses worrying as they age because, let’s be real, acting jobs are scarce for women over 45. But studios aren’t going to hire someone whose face looks like plastic anyway. Age gracefully.
charlywalker said
Eat Twinkies they have a shelf life of 100 years…but the side affect might send you into a murderous frenzy…….
oldancestor said
I just drink polysorbate 60 right out of the container. I skip the calories that way.
charlywalker said
You don’t worry about the DIE additive?
oldancestor said
Polysorbate stops the aging process*
*long enough for you to get horrible diseases caused by polysorbate 60
Greg Camp said
Dang, that’s what happens to cheerleaders after high school. They run for vice president. And the loser boys have surgery to become them.
oldancestor said
It’s always like that, isn’t it?
The Hook said
Way cool! But why would anyone want to look like the Devil?
oldancestor said
Ahahahaha!
You win.
charlywalker said
She needed a blue dress….
oldancestor said
el diablo en un vestido azul?
charlywalker said
Si. Mientras que monta en las ruedas de Detroit…
oldancestor said
I used up most of my Spanish on the last comment.
The Good Greatsby said
Ha!
oldancestor said
Well, now, that’s pretty easy for you to say. Isn’t it?
Hello?
iphone said
accessories…
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